Sometimes you just have one of those nights. You’re tired. It’s cold outside. There’s a good Lifetime movie on TV, and you just don’t want to go anywhere. You’re so comfortable cuddled up on the couch when the inevitable calls and text messages start to come in. “Where are you?” “What time are you gonna be there?” “Who’s coming with us?” “What are you wearing?” You have to come up with a story, an alibi, a way out – and fast.

But what do you tell them? You’ve already “killed your grandma” three times in the last six months, and when you “mysteriously fell ill,” they all showed up with chicken soup and turned the house into the party. It seemed unlikely that I’d be able to have a night off and stay in. But then I thought I’d just be honest … and it worked! I explained to my friends how much I love them, but I really just wanted to relax at home. After a few minutes of confused silences, they were cool with my request. Shocking indeed, as I am, after all, the Barfly! But even Barflys get tired.

But what a night it was. While my movie was chock-full of drama that only the network that brings us “television for women … and gay men” could supply, my night could have been a Lifetime movie itself. The interesting thing is that I never left the house.

As I sat on my couch eating a bowl of light-buttered popcorn, somehow I lived vicariously through my friends’ wacky evening. Living nearby many of the gay clubs is usually convenient, but not on this particular night. As my friends arrived to the neighborhood, many felt the need to check in on me before they went out, as if I was their recluse grandmother. Some popped in to fix their hair, change their outfits or pre-drink. Throughout the evening, I was bombarded with phone calls, text messages and video messages from friends who felt I was missing out on the various happenings.

Even though I missed that particular night out, my buddies certainly filled me in on all the happenings. That particular Saturday included the usual fun times at Numbers, and a trip to check out the monthly Discoteka party at Rich’s. This event, held the first Saturday of every month, is all about the music. DJ Nikno spins an impressive set, with a mix of funky-Euro house music. The night ended as they partied it up at Club Montage to the beats of the awesome DJ Phil B. Sounded like fun, but Lifetime proved to be a good pal for the evening.

In other news, with Valentine’s Day just passing and Mardi Gras on the horizon, there’s a lot of excitement going on around town! Club Montage started the Valentine’s party early, hosting “Cupid Strikes” with DJ Susan Morabito on Feb. 10. Rich’s also got into the spirit with Donkey Punch’s “Sexy Cupid” party on the same night. Both parties were sexy and fun. Speaking of Rich’s, this premier dance venue recently launched their new Web site! Check it out at www.richssandiego.com.

Valentine’s Day fell on a Wednesday this year, so many of the dateless and penniless spent the holiday with their fellow singles at Flicks’ famous “Welfare Wednesday” night. The best part about this weekly night is that well drinks are only a buck and “South Park” plays at 10:00 p.m.

With Fat Tuesday falling on Feb. 20, the celebrations have already begun! Our very own New Orleans-style bar Bourbon Street is the ultimate place to celebrate Mardi Gras. Bourbon Street will host its “Seven Days of Decadence,” which includes seven special events that began on Valentine’s Day, culminating with a huge party on Fat Tuesday. The evening will include a mask and costume contest at 10:00 p.m. and a bead toss every hour starting at 8:00 p.m. until close! Check out www.bourbonstreetsd.com for all of the details.

Another great Fat Tuesday option is the sixth annual Hillcrest Mardi Gras. This huge outdoor festival takes place on University Avenue between First and Fourth avenues. It includes food, live entertainment, beads, party favors and, of course, liquor. This event gets bigger and better every year. The event is 21 and up, and will take place come rain or shine. Ticket information is available at www.hillcrestmardigras.org.

Send comments or event information to editor@uptownpub.com.