I’ve been so spoiled lately with the big-budget blockbuster pornos the big studios have been sending me that I decided to go back to my roots. Yes, we’re talking about good ol’ amateur porn.

You know, the kind you used to sneak over to the gay side of F Street to buy back when you were closeted and in college – it was always a little bit cheaper, and you were so desperate to see guy-on-guy sex.

OK, maybe that’s just me. But to wash down this little video, I’m going back to my college days and drinking a screw-top bottle of Boones Farm, a surefire way to make any video fun.

Not much plot here in Dexter’s Duos, as a nice little caption informs us we are about to “enjoy” Moreno Jasons and Brandon Aguilar’s little sexcapade. The guys are making out in someone’s living room and then just hop right to it. The pants come off and Brandon is wearing some sexy 2xist Pima Cotton Briefs that I recently saw at Martin and Wall. Nice fit there, buddy. But they don’t stay on long.

So Brandon is a tall, lean guy with some hair on his chest and Moreno is a shorter, dark-skinned guy. You can tell that they’re both gay because they really know how to suck dick – as is demonstrated while they take turns on one another. I was halfway expecting Brandon to be the bottom in the scene, so you can imagine my mild surprise when he starts fucking Moreno. But then they do something that always makes me happy, the flip-flop-fuck, and Brandon gets pounded on. In fact, Brandon gets pounded on until he cums, and he’s quite a shooter. You go, Brandon!

Moreno’s cum shot? He’s no slouch either. And then the most awesome thing happens. While Moreno is shooting, the doorbell rings. No, not here at my house, on the video. I’ve had that happen when I was cumming before. Kinda awkward, but Moreno holds it together. I see big things in his future.

So scene two starts out with Matt Tripp (a hairy, muscular guy) lying on a bed and then Dexter Palmer joins him. They talk a lot of nonsense about meeting before and about some Web site and someone not calling them back. I’m sure if I drank more this would all be fascinating, but right now it’s like some inside joke between the two of them that I just don’t get.

The action begins, and it turns out Matt is quite a fan of body piercings. He’s got his nipples done, his belly button, his dick head and even his balls. Dexter, it turns out, despite the lack of hair on his head (it’s shaved), has got quite a furry chest – and a nice cock while we’re at it.

So the oral starts. And for the record, Matt’s tongue is pierced, too. So there is all of this nonsense butch talk about how neither one of them gets fucked (and I’m going to go on the record here and say if you get fucked, you are butch in my book because that can hurt a lot). But, in fact, they both take it up the ass like pros, so they were totally lying. Bad actors!

In fact, they both like it so much that after some awkward transitions, suddenly Matt is on his back getting fingered by Dexter so he can cum, and then Matt fingers Dexter so he can shoot. Yeah, guys, you keep telling yourselves you’re tops.

In the third and final scene, it’s Jaeden and Dexter. Jaeden is this beefy, ripped Latin dude and Dexter, well, he’s still Dexter. The two just get it on after some not-so-necessary exposition about a pool party, which references another Dexter video (way to cross-promote there, Dexter).

As they’re getting it on, Dexter does all the work. I mean, he sucks, he licks, he rims and, hell, he even lets Jaeden just sit there while he rides that boy’s cock. Good for you, Dexter. But come on, Jaeden, get a little more into it. Please?

At the cum shot, Dexter gets a major facial (apparently Jaeden was saving his energy for the cum shot). But here’s the funny thing, and I apologize if I ruin some movie magic for you. Most porn is only taped with one camera, so when we get that close-up of a guy shooting, that’s hard to fake. When we get the close-up of the guy’s face as he’s cumming (the Cum Face, for those in the know), that is usually faked. Or easier to fake, in theory. In Dexter’s Duos, we can tell that Jaeden is not so good at acting because he almost cracks up doing his cum face – he’s faking it!

But then again, I’m done with my bottle of Boones Farm, so I don’t really care.

Dexter is just getting started here with his video company, and all I can say is, not bad, buddy. We’ve only got three scenes, and they’re all very rough around the edges. If you aren’t into all the porn gimmicks, tricks and crazy shaved bodies, this might be a video for you. Just plain old guys getting naked and fucking.

rating:

LIFTOFF

HH

Dexter Palmer Productions

Directed by Dexter Palmer

Starring: Matt Tripp, Moreno Jasons, Brandon Aguilar, Jaeden Montez and Dexter Palmer