In The Velvet Mafia Part 2, Mr. Avalon (Paul Barresi) gets the lowdown from Erik Rhodes on how his director, Omer, is totally f*cking Derrick Vinyard from Star Studios. Avalon tells him to go put a stop to it, and Erik jumps the gun and asks him if he wants him to bust a cap in his ass (but between you and me, I think Derrick has already done that). Avalon says no one is supposed to get hurt.

In less than a minute, Derrick and Omer solve the mystery about Derrick being framed for cheating on Omer. Meanwhile, I have apparently passed out and missed something. Last time I saw Matthew Rush he was a sweaty mess and cumming all over Jason Ridge, the powerful gay magazine publisher. Now he’s got delusions of grandeur – he’s got a DVD of Derrick and Omer kissing, which is the worst-kept secret in the gay mafia these days.

Jason plays a game of “well, mine’s bigger” by popping in a DVD with a scene from a prison movie that stars Paul Barresi and Chi Chi LaRue! Hot! Well, make that Mason Avalon and Warren Starr. But here’s the deal: The movie is old, filmed when they were kids, and Chi Chi is played by my all-time favorite blond bottom, Trent Atkins. Paul is played by some new straight trade named Brock Penn, and he’s not fooling anyone. So the two have sex; Brock doesn’t get f*cked and Trent does, but it’s still hot and it’s got this vintage film quality to it that makes me feel like I’m back in my college dorm room watching some cheep ’80s porn that I found in the discount bin at F Street.

The cameras keep rolling after the sex scene, and it turns out that Chi Chi and Paul were together, and they had a kid using Paul’s sperm and Chi Chi’s sister’s womb! Guess who the kid is…

Matthew stupidly thinks that either Omer or Derrick is the love child, and he tells Roman that he needs to kill them both. Yeah, that didn’t make sense to me either, but just go with it. This is porn not rocket science.

Cut to Omer and Derrick being all lovey dovey in the woods. It’s sweet, and then Erik shows up and tries to take Omer back to the family. Derrick is all, “Don’t leave me,” and everyone pulls guns (even though Omer and Derrick didn’t have guns five seconds ago). The scene has tension, bad dialogue and even worse acting, and then Omer shoots Erik dead.

Matthew thinks the spawn of Chi Chi and Paul is out of the way because Roman killed the two potential kids. Only he didn’t.

Back to more interesting stories and bad acting. Fox heads into the Star Club, trying to be all sneaky breaking into Chi Chi’s office. In there, he finds a note from Chi Chi to Paul that says to give “this” to our son on his 30th birthday. “This” happens to be a bag of diamonds, and Fox steals them and puts them in his sock. He’s about to leave when Chad Hunt and his huge cock catch him, and they start to have sex. Then Roman walks in and joins them. The biggest mystery to me in this whole goddamn movie is how neither of these guys noticed the big jingling bag of diamonds in Fox’s socks!

Everyone sucks and rims in this scene, and Chad and his huge cock f*cks Roman silly. Then Fox f*cks Roman and, no offense to Fox, but I’m surprised Roman can feel anything after Chad and his huge cock were done with him. Chad and his huge cock f*ck Roman some more and then Chad and his huge cock f*ck Fox. I seriously think he’s gonna split the poor kid in two.

After they’re done, the shit hits the fan. Matthew’s plot to take over gets back to Chi Chi and then Chi Chi beats the crap out of Jason Ridge. Only Matthew doesn’t know this and thinks he’s going to launch his own porn empire. He takes two guys to audition for him – didn’t we see Roman do the same thing in Part 1? Anyway, Matthew dildo-f*cks the two guys (Andy Hunter and Rodin Kohl), and I kinda like watching Andy Hunter, who I’ve never seen bottom before, get f*cked. Take it, bitch!

I’m not going to ruin the ending at this point. You know where the sex is, so buy the movie if you want to find out what happens! Needless to say, there are four solid sex scenes and four more dead bodies by the end of the film. Mama Steel, you got me. I didn’t see that twist coming.

rating:

SHOOT TO THE MOON ****

Directed by Chris Steel

Written by Mama Steel

Starring: Fox Ryder, Falcon lifetime exclusive Matthew Rush, Falcon exclusives Derrick Vinyard, Roman Heart and Brock Penn. Also starring Omer, Trent Atkins, Chad Hunt, Andy Hunter and Rodin Kohl, plus more extras than you can shake Chad Hunt’s huge cock at.

www.falconstudios.com