San Diego, America’s Finest City, is home to several of the world’s best-kept secrets. The first secret is that the month of June is gloomy. Of course, now that we’ve come to expect clouds and San Francisco-like fog, it’s sunny outside.

The second secret is that the pandas at the world famous zoo don’t do a damn thing. Time and again, I’ve run over to the zoo with my yearly zoo pass, have stood in a long line only to find the pandas sleeping or simply not in the mood to entertain. You’d think that after all the hype, they’d kick a ball around, walk on their front paws or at least roll over. But, no, they just lie there while people taking pictures hope to get a glimpse of panda activity. Someone should tell them the koalas are cuter and much more photogenic.

The final and most shocking of San Diego’s best-kept secrets is the San Diego Rodeo or Gay Rodeo. The San Diego Rodeo is a hell of a good time. It’s fun, well put together and should be added to your list of “must do” events for next year.

Like most of the men who attended, I had visions of Jack Wrangler, Lil’ Joe or the Marlboro Man taming a wild bull while shirtless, sweaty and covered with dirt. Not actually dirty, just a light layer of dirt for effect. Since Lil Joe and the Marlboro Man are dead, and Jack Wrangler is now “straight,” the men at the rodeo had a lot to live up to in the cowboy-fantasy world. The boot wearing, bow-legged dudes blew away all the television and cowboy porn images once they entered the arena. There’s something about a bow-legged man that puts the sex back in sexy. You just can’t look at a bow-legged man without imagining those bowed legs wrapped around your neck. Yes, I said “neck”! And, if his name is Cody, Bubba or Billy Ray – it’s on! It’s all the way on!

The Golden State Gay Rodeo Association knows exactly what it’s doing. It turns the testosterone levels up to boiling point by shoving manly men doing manly things down your throat. And we swallow it hook, line and sinker. We swallow all of it!

Rodeo weekend had all the traditional events one would find at any rodeo, gay or straight, such as Goat Dressing, Steer Decorating and the infamous Wild Drag Race. When I heard they’d be doing Bareback Broncs, Pole Bending and the Grand Entry, I thought Jack Wrangler had come out of retirement and had brought his piece along. But, alas, these too were traditional rodeo events.

One of the more moving and memorable moments was the Riderless Horse Ceremony. Originally a tradition in the U.S. Cavalry, The Golden State Gay Rodeo Association adopted the ceremony to honor those members of the GSGRA and the IGRA who have gone before us. They have permanently retired the number “1” so they will always have a place in the rodeo. What a class act. Some of the other drama-filled organizations in this town can certainly learn from the rodeo folks.

If you missed the San Diego Rodeo this year – don’t do it again! All those weak-ass excuses are just that – excuses. It’s not that far away. The weather was great. It was well produced. It was affordable. The local people were accepting, although the hat vendor had a confederate flag flying over his booth. Most of all, we had a great time. Great job, guys! Hopefully this won’t be a secret for long and people will get off their asses to experience Pole Bending by guys named Cody, Bubba and Billy Ray.

See ya In the Pit! inthepitsd@aol.com