Yearning to put a chill in your bones along with a thrill in your boner? Then cum to the mysterious mansion of leather master Luc LaMaitre in Lord of Milking. In the latest from Liquid London Productions and Oh Man! International, the shutters aren’t the only things banging wildly at this place! Twinks, punks, daddies, interracial pairings, leather fetishists, even a little light bondage – they’re all included, tied up (sometimes literally) in a traditional “Old, dark house” story, and all the guys are so well hung, it’s frightening. Sporting a slightly harder edge than most story-driven porn, bright-eyed, Brit-next-door Jon Janes is the narrator recalling the classic Rocky Horror Picture Show.

Our whore-ifying tale unfolds as Romeo Chambord and Aiden Bonini go for a drive in the country, where they pick up hunky hitchhiker David Handsome. Naturally, the car breaks down not far from LaMaitre’s ominous-but-oddly-alluring estate, and they head there in search of help. Arriving just as a cloudburst hits, they meet Luc and his faithful man servant – a delectable, dark-skinned Adonis willing to bend over backwards to fulfill his devilish daddy’s every desire.

Invited to hang out until the storm passes, Romeo and Aiden stay together while David rooms alone – or is he? Ready for a quick nap, no sooner does he undress than the lust-bound spirit of the house, played by Feti Chist, makes his presence known by slurping on this buffed sleeping beauty’s blue-veiner. It’s not until the phantom Feti spews his spectral spunk all over Dave’s tight abs that Mr. Handsome wakes up and suspects it wasn’t a dream after all.

At dinner, Luc and his virile valet serve their guests a creamy white pudding that immediately turns them into ravenous horn dogs. Soon everyone’s tearing off their clothes, turning over, half-crazed for their “other sides” to enjoy a visit from LaMaitre’s supernaturally sized endowment. A spirited mini orgy materializes, concluding with LeMaitre launching his load all over the breathtaking butt-ler’s naked, rippling torso.

Back in his room, midnight draws near as Romeo is beckoned by an eerie voice. Following it, he finds Mike Powers and Korben David chained up in a secret dungeon. Finally, the unspeakable secret of this depraved hall is revealed – it’s actually a dairy farm of sorts, only cows don’t get milked but ripe young studs who are kept locked away! Narrator Janes explains that the pair were once porn-star wannabes originally lured there by the promise of fame and immense success only to wind up prisoners. Of course, Romeo seizes the opportunity to free them, but once loose of their bindings, they would rather have raunchy, sweaty, backroom-style sex than escape. In fact, Korben introduces his hungry lips to Mike’s humongous member faster than the lightning outside!

Their chains now completely rattled, Romeo, Aiden and David decide to make a run for the car, not caring that it’s still the middle of the night. Will they get away or will they fall victim to LaMaitre’s evil plans? (Either way, it’s incredibly hot getting to that last scene to find out!)

From the sets and lighting to the special effects, there’s a lot of genuine creativity involved in each set up – much of it superior to more “mainstream” films. For instance, David’s ghostly encounter first appears simply as the shadow of a man falling across his brawny, nude physique; however, the arousing result is brilliant. In addition, sometimes several money scenes are intercut with one another, and none of them are ever quite what you expect –they’re better! The one drawback here is that our storyteller, Jon, is so hauntingly gorgeous that it seems a waste he, himself, doesn’t bare all and get in on some the goo-lish goings on as well.

Lord of Milking is the perfect trick-filled treat bag to keep handy when “Cocktober” rolls around and you’re eager to pump some (after) life into your next big Halloween bash! For more information, visit www.ohmanstudios.com.

rating:

hit the stratosphere ***

Oh Man! International

Directed by Jean-Marc Prouvier

Starring: David Handsome, Romeo Chambord, Aiden Bonini, Luc LeMaitre, “Darkskin,” Feti Chist, Mike Power, Korben David, Sean Longlay, Chris Barton and Jon Janes as the narrator