Issue 57 • 19-Jul-2007
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Whoroscopes
aries
(March 20-April 19): Social obligations wind up costing you much more than you expect. Friends know all the hot places and the best parties, and the excitement draws you in. All this glamour doesn’t come cheap, even if you do. But you only live once.
taurus
(April 20-May 20): Queer bulls are unleashed in the halls of power. Revolution! Or is it? Timing is everything. If you want to overthrow the system, think things through. Don’t tear down what has taken so long to construct. Or at least get your bonus check first.
gemini
(May 21-June 20): Keep your eyes open and be alert for great opportunities to express yourself. Reach out and try to connect with the global community. But promise nothing right now. Pink twins can be forgiven for flirting instead of falling.
cancer
(June 21-July 22): A particular friend catches your eye in an entirely new way, and gay crabs can lose their heads with a spur of the moment fling. Stay grounded. Despite what you say, you are not really looking for anything permanent at this time.
leo
(July 23-Aug. 22): If you are on the prowl, this week can bring you a few hot prospects that turn out to be too hot to handle. If you are in a relationship, watch for sparks that ignite. Don’t choose between corporate advancement and partnerships. Find time for both.
virgo
(Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Flare ups on the job may cause you to delay all travel plans until you crawl out from under the pile. Take care of every detail at work as best as you can and don’t look back as you close the door and leave. All things shall pass. Bon voyage, queer virgin.
libra
(Sept. 23-Oct. 22): There is a cosmic party going on and you have an open invitation to overdo. Not only can you get into mischief, it will be short, sweet and shocking. Have your dessert with a cherry on top, proud Libra, and don’t topple it as the earth moves under you.
scorpio
(Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Are certain relatives shoving you back in the closet? Do partners allow you to be yourself? Unleash the force, proud Scorp. Demand your place in the world, make necessary changes and take no prisoners. OK, take only the sexy ones.
sagittarius
(Nov. 22-Dec. 20): Thankfully, the junk you blurt out may help you on the job, so don’t be too worried. Stupid opinions sound brilliant and visionary. Don’t blather on too long, though, gay archer; this phase phases out, but your words will be there forever and ever.
capricorn
(Dec. 21-Jan. 19): Pink Caps who dream of wealth, accolades and glory have to temper their aspirations and settle. But, thankfully, you have enough confidence to stay grounded and wait. Instead of attention grabbing, why not be the power behind the throne instead?
aquarius
(Jan. 20-Feb. 18): You make an interesting first impression. You think you are a charmer, but others may beg to differ. Those who know you well will forgive your assorted foibles. Believe me, they do this more times than you realize, Aqueerius.
pisces
(Feb. 19-March 19): Guppies sound almost visionary. Express yourself honestly and let others do the interpretation. Who knows? You could be catapulted into the literati class: respected, adored, even envied. Then again, maybe not.
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