Dear Puddles:

For the last few months, my boyfriend has been hinting that he would like to try a threesome. At first, I didn’t think he was all that serious. Then, last weekend, he wanted to take a guy home with us that we met at the bar. I was not prepared and freaked out on him. When we talked about it the next day, he said he really wants to experiment more sexually, and that he thinks bringing in another person could help our, well, dull sex life. I know a lot of couples who have threesomes and are happy, but I never thought we would be one of those couples. I still want to believe that I am enough for him. I guess I would find a threesome exciting, but I still don’t know. I am worried it could destroy our relationship. What do you think, Lemon?

Dear Threesome:

This is a toughie, but don’t stress. Lemon’s here.

OK, you have a few options. If you choose to say nay to the three-way, you’ve got a lot of work to do. Men gotta fuck. And if he’s not satisfied having sex with only you, it’s just a matter of time. Trust me. So, you have to make sex within the relationship the bomb diggity. That’s right, you’ve gotta get some new moves, honey. And I mean quick.

Stop by one of the many local sex shops and pick up a few toys, videos, books, etc. Get inventive. Get nasty.

“Are you ready to kick your boyfriend to the curb just because he wants to get off with someone else? Hey, at least he wants you there to experience it with him.”

Here are a few Lemon Puddles recommendations: Try having sex outside, on the verge of public. Or, if you’re more daring, go to a sex club or bathhouse and have butt love out in the open so others can watch. This should be new and exciting, but still allow for the relationship to stay closed. There are so many ways the two of you can experiment sexually – even with other people – without actually having sex outside the relationship. Know this: If one person in a relationship is unhappy with his or her sex life, and the other doesn’t do anything to fix it, the relationship is doomed. Dip it, pop it, twerk it, stop it – or someone else will.

Option number two: Have the threesome. Don’t let him guilt or coerce you into having a threesome unless you’re sure you want to go there. Who knows, you may end up loving it. Here’s the key: bring home someone you both are into, and who is into both of you. This is no easy task. Another option, at least in the beginning, is to bring home someone who is more into you than your partner. That’ll add to your sense of security.

If you’re one of those ugly guys with the hot boyfriend (you know the couples I’m talking about), then you’re pretty much screwed. Chances of finding a third that is not in “it” for your boyfriend are slim, so hopefully that’s not the case.

There is a difference between having sex and making love. Are you ready to kick your boyfriend to the curb just because he wants to get off with someone else? Hey, at least he wants you there to experience it with him. Create some boundaries. Limit who you can and can’t sleep with to avoid issues of jealousy. You can also limit how much by adding a few restrictions like only on vacation or only once every few months. Negotiate to where you both feel comfortable.

So here’s the deal: If you don’t want that kind of relationship, then don’t be in one. It’s up to you. Maybe this guy isn’t the right guy for you, and that’s OK. If you’re willing to give it a shot, be smart about it. Communicate as much as possible and be honest with your feelings. Oh, and have fun!

Send your sick and twisted questions for sex advice columnist Lemon Puddles to lemonpuddles@yahoo.com.