What happened to June Gloom? June Gloom is great. The weather is cool, crisp and overcast like any San Francisco summer. I want my June Gloom back! It’s too damn hot here. Besides, I already have my base tan.

If you’re too hot and have to get away for the summer, there are some happenings during the month of July.

All the way on the other side of the country, the Provincetown Bears throw down one of the more fun parties of the year, from July 8-15. The P-Town Bears work with local club managers to create different music and atmosphere for a week of parties like Woof in the Wharf, the Underbear Party, Leather & Chrome Nite, an evening with Lea DeLaria and my favorite, Crisco Disco. How can you possibly go wrong with a party called Crisco Disco? The name alone screams “good time!”

There’s also plenty of time to enjoy the town, restaurants, cabaret shows, the National Seashore Park, beaches, etc. Of course, there will be plenty of time for bear fun, bear frolicking and bear f*cking as well.

Give it up for the Gay Games, people. They timed it perfectly to leave Provincetown and head west for the seventh quadrennial Gay Games Sports and Cultural Festival. From July 15-22, Chicago will play host to the world and welcome thousands of athletes, spectators and cultural participants to the games, which are founded on the principles of participation, inclusion and personal best.

In 1982, Dr. Tom Waddell, a 1968 Olympic decathlete, founded the games primarily to showcase LGBT sports, describing it as “an experiment in global unity; an experiment in education; a vehicle for change.”

It doesn’t seem possible that it’s been that long since San Franciscans were making room in their beds, in the nature of true sportsmanship, and taking one or more for the team. If you’re not old enough to remember (oh my god, that’s a sickening thought), fit and athletic bodies filled the streets, bars and bathhouses of Fagdad -by-the-Bay. Most of the boys from Middle America had lovers, boyfriends, live-in domestic partners, etc. Oh, those poor boys never knew what hit them. I always tell people, “Never take a love/like interest to San Francisco unless you have some sort of open-minded understanding.”

Here we are years later and the games are still going strong. Dr. Waddell, we’ve grown up!

All that culture during the games may be a little too much, so you can get back to reality at the 2006 Up Your Alley Fair. Also known as the Dore Alley Fair, it began as a small local gathering for leather people in San Francisco on the last Sunday in July.

While it’s still a f*cking good time, the Up Your Alley Fair has grown to host approximately 12,000 leather folk. There’s now an official dance, a Sweat dance, and the calendar boys of San Francisco are out, but there’s no more sex in the street like the original. There’s always Blow Buddies for that. If you’re heading up to S.F., just remember the rule: Never take a love/like interest to San Francisco unless you have some sort of open-minded understanding.

The same weekend of the Up Your Alley Fair in San Francisco, many of you will be basking in your pride and glory. As reported last week, Raw Limited at 2528 University Ave. has advance Pride tickets. If you’re not going to Fagdad, get your Pride tickets at Raw to avoid the lines.

San Diego’s leather community has been working extremely hard and will host the Leather Realm once again, for adults only, during the festival. Single-day Pride tickets are $12 and the weekend Pride passes are $20.

OK, so as I’m proofing this, it’s gotten cloudy and is starting to sprinkle. Yes! There is a weather goddess!

Happy travels! Send your party or event info to inthepit@aol.com, and we’ll have ourselves a real good time.