How lazy are bears this weekend? Not very or extremely – depending on what you might catch them doing. It’s Lazy Bear Weekend! What started off as a gathering of friends in the woods a little more than 10 years ago has now become one of the biggest bear events in the world. Looks like the zoo just let out. There is every type of bear known to man here in Guerneville, Calif. – all playing in the woods. Why, just earlier, a big truck carrying a sloth or sleuth of whooping and hollering muscle bears made its way down the street. It’s bear bedlam here in Guerneville, and we are luvin’ it!

Wednesday night was the opening kickoff party at the Russian River Resort with DJ Rotten Robbie. Rotten Robbie loves to spin that old-school music, where the songs have actual words that the old-timers can sing along to. Throughout the resort you can hear the sounds of giddy bears growling out words as they jump and twist to the ’70s tunes of Donna Summer – before she became a bitch and turned her back on the fags that made her a star.

The first night is always the craziest. Everyone is looking for that first honey nut, but no one wants to shoot their first wad. You know, the early-at-the-bathhouse scene, where you’re ready to let it fly but want to wait in case something hotter comes through the door? Yeah, that scene! The lucky young cubs can do it over and over, but the blue pill gives us old grizzlies a headache so we have to be sure we’re ready to swallow it. The smart ones always start bottoms up, work their way to the top, and return to bottoms up to get the most bang for their buck. At least this is what I hear. I also hear there are bear play parties planned all weekend long. Grey Rose Productions star Buster is having his infamous balloon party Friday night. I’ll have to go as an official representative of the company. Oh, it’s a tough job.

The traditional opening night bonfire this year was held at The Outback and sponsored by m4m-world.com . Many a bear was seen crossing the newly renovated footbridge heading off into the woods. There’s so much fun and frolicking going on in these hills that it’s hard to imagine why any bear could or would be lazy.

The porn bears will be hanging out at the Woods where Grey Rose is sponsor of the “clothing optional” pool party, while I stroll around town getting footage for the official Lazy Bear Commemorative DVD. Life is so hard... and so am I about now. Oh, San Diego bears have been spotted rolling down this Russian River. Even Tom Dickerson has his leathery ass beating the bushes up here. Before anyone gets his panties in a wad, by “leathery” I mean Tom’s a “leather man,” not that his ass is wrinkled and tough like an old piece of leather. I’d better just leave that alone for now; you know how leather people can get.

The leather folk in San Diego have been doing some outstanding work as of late. Buster, Mr. San Diego Leather, presented and carried out an incredible float for the Pride parade. Kudos to Buster! He got the job done in spite of stupid questions and B.S. They say there’s no such thing as a stupid question. “They” don’t know some of the people “we” know.

The Leather Realm is always a great source of pride for the San Diego leather community and was again this year. They have one of the hardest working groups of volunteers around, who are mostly the same people who do everything else in this town. Time for some of you others to get off the pot (not literally though, figuratively).

Lastly, the big finish goes to Karen Yew, our former Ms. San Diego Leather. Karen had one of the fullest heads of hair in these parts, but a few weeks ago had a complete hair makeover in the name of charity. Eleven inches (ouch) were cut from her head and raised $770 for Locks of Love. I hear she looks fabulous!

Back to bears, beers and bushes. More when I get back…

Send party and event info to inthepit@aol.com and we’ll have ourselves a real good time.