The presents have all been mailed back to whatever online stop ’n’ shop they came from in exchange for something you really wanted. The cards have been packed away with the intention of sending those people a card next year. The lights have all been knotted up and thrown into a box in the back of the closet. The tree has been thrown into some dumpster in the back of some supermarket, and the last of the now-spoiled eggnog has been poured down the drain. Its official: Christmas is over and we don’t have to spread holiday cheer anymore, at least not for another year.

It’s 2007 and time to plan for another year of fun and debauchery. Bears San Diego, which claims to be San Diego’s original bear group, kicks off the year with SunBears Weekend beginning Jan. 12. There are several packages for the weekend, but to get your money’s worth go for the Commander Package, which includes everything you need for a jolly time except for the lucky out-of-towner who’s gonna take your “jolly.” It’s always best to do an out-of-towner at these things ’cause they only fall in love for the weekend and then go home to their lover/partner/boyfriend and you never have to hear from them again. Of course, if you have a lover/partner/boyfriend of your own, then some three- or four- or five-way action is always on the menu. The Commander Package costs around $150 and includes the Mr. Bear San Diego 2006 Contest, the Bear Poolside Dinner, the Mexican Getaway, the Meet & Greet and whatever else they throw in to make you come.

Like most bear events, there’s food everywhere, and there’s no better way to trap a bear for the weekend than with food. On Jan. 11 from 7:00 to 9:00 p.m. will be the Dinner with da Bears at Lumberjack Grille. The grille has now become one of the local “must-do” bear dives, so it’s only fittin’ they feed the first wave. But get there early – these are hungry bears. The hospitality suite at the Handlery Hotel (love that name) is open from 11:00 a.m. to 8:00 p.m. on Jan. 12, so you can pick up your registration packets and have some more refreshments and snacks (bear snacks, not regular people snacks).

Then there’s the pool party. It wouldn’t be a San Diego event without a pool party, no matter what the weather is like.

This will be the best opportunity to pick up a husbear for the weekend. If you already have a husbear, then make a friend to take home to your husbear. After all, you have to be a welcome mat for the out-of-towners.

Of course, there’s all the meat ’n’ greets, bar crawls, trolley tours, etc. There’s even a bus to take you from place to place so you can get plastered, say rude things to everyone around you and blame it on the alcohol. It’s a win/win situation, if I’ve ever heard one.

The best part about the whole weekend is the TBA Play Party. Play parties and things are usually right up my alley, so hopefully you’ll know where to find me and a hundred of my closest friends. I don’t know where it is at this point, but by the time the weekend comes around I’m sure we will have all figured it out.

On Saturday night, Jan. 13, the bears will be hosting my favorite monthly dance party, L.L. Bear at Rich’s. This one will be extra wet and hairy with all the out-of-towners breaking their groove thangs. Of course, they’ll be counting on us locals to give them an up-close and personal view of what San Diegans are really like. Maybe not what we’re really like but what we want them to think we’re really like.

There’s a contest thrown in there somewhere, but the cherry on top is the Mexican Getaway to Puerto Nuevo, which will take place on Sunday, Jan. 14, from 8:15 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. You can take a ride down the ruggedly beautiful Baja coastline for colorful shopping and a succulent lobster lunch in the village of Puerto Nuevo. How romantic: food, shopping and snuggling with a strange bear on a bus, all for $75 or free with one of the package deals.

It’s back to reality on Monday morning, but not before brunch at Baja Betty’s from 9:30 to 11:30 a.m. We are gay, and events cannot end without brunch. Especially bear events. Just like the welcome dinner, be sure to get there early – these are hungry bears.

If you’re in town that weekend, it’s your duty to play host to the billions of out-of-town bears visiting America’s Finest City. This is a great way to support San Diego’s original bear group.

Have a great 2007, and I’ll see you in the pit.

All photos courtesy of Greyroseproductions.com.