If you’re reading this the day it comes out then you’re not at IML in Chicago. All the who’s who and A-listers are enjoying the first day of the craziest leather weekend all year, and you’re not there. Don’t despair, neither am I. Neither is Tom Dickerson. Neither is Buster. A lot of the usual crowd isn’t going this year. Some ’cause of burn-out. Some ’cause of expenses. Some ’cause they’re newly married and aren’t willing to test the relationship to that extreme – not yet, anyway. It’s quite all right. We can have our own fun right here in America’s Finest City! Chicago is just the Windy City. We’re not bitter. We’re not angry. We know there’s always next year. So go ahead. Have all the fun without us, Paul D., Brandon, Dave, Scott, Adam, Steve, Nicolas and Matt. See if we care … and we don’t want to hear about it when you get back!

So what will we be doing this weekend while the others are living it up in sin and debauchery – besides wishing we were living it up in sin and debauchery? Well, Thursday night is Bear Night at the Lumberjack Grille from 7:00 to 9:00 p.m. It’s a cool deal with good company. Bears are always happiest when they’re eating, so if you’re bummed about not being in Chicago, they’ll cheer you up. I think it’d be a good idea to put out a huge buffet on Bear Night and just let everyone go at it. Sure, you’d have to get there early before the food ran out, but it’d be fun to watch the men charging the buffet table.

Friday night Club X is having a singles mixer at Shooterz from 8:00 to 10:00 p.m. Great! Lonely, desperate people looking for lonely, desperate people with whom they can discuss how lonely and desperate they are. Everyone is welcome, whether you’re single or in a poly relationship. Dress code: casual nice (sexy is always good). Fetish wear is fine and leather is finer… as long as it’s legal (this is a public place). If you have really hot “f” buddies, go and make everyone wish they were you. Sounds like fun!

Realistically, that did not sound like much fun at all. OK, we’re fairly pathetic this week, and I’m starting to regret the decision not to go to Chicago. Last week at the gym a friend asked me if I was going. When I said no, he had the nerve to respond, “Aw, we’re going to miss you.” Seriously, he said that! What nerve! I mean, really, if you’re gonna miss me that much then give me your f——ing plane ticket, and we’ll both be happy.

You know what we need in San Diego? A Blow Buddies! For those of you who’ve never been to my ex-home of San Francisco, Blow Buddies is a social club for men. There’s also one in L.A. called SLAMMER. They’re much easier and much more social than bathhouses. There are no lock boxes that you have to put stuff in. There are no lockers except if you want to put your jacket away. There are no rooms. There are no hot tubs or steam rooms. There are only mazes, booths and lots of men who want to socialize. Just walk in, socialize and leave. No discussion. No negotiation. No pretending you’re actually interested in the person. Just socialize. I’m sure it’s a zoning issue, but can we fix that? Do we know anyone with some power in this town?

We need more outlets for socializing, but before that, we need to utilize the ones we have. Anyone drive by what used to be ReBar lately? What’s up with that? Who are those people and how did they take over one of our fun places? No more backroom nights! C’mon guys, we’re being pushed out and away! Pride celebrations are coming up in major cities everywhere. Even a few minor cities are getting a piece of the action. We can’t jet off to Chicago, San Francisco or New York when we want to, so we’d better start having fun in our own backyards! Drop the San Diego attitude, along with your pants, and let’s get to it. Rent a huge hotel room, take over a house or borrow your brother’s trailer. Not much on the calendar right now, so let’s add some stuff.

Send me your party or event info to inthepit@aol.com, and we’ll have ourselves a real good time. Good luck, Dutch, Mr. San Diego Leather, at IML. See ya’ll when you get back.