Going out and enjoying San Diego’s nightlife has its ups and downs, but generally speaking it’s a good time to be had by one and all. But being a gay man in this city doesn’t mean that you have to be confined to the gay scene. On any given night out, I see many straight men and women kicking back and enjoying themselves in “family-oriented” bars. I’m glad to know that I live in a city where the heteros and homos, if you will, can all be under the same roof and get along. Still, this poses some interesting questions. Why do straight folk frequent the gay scene? Are they more comfortable in this atmosphere? And is it the same for gay men and women who visit straight bars? Are we as welcome there as we would like to be? The Barfly hit the streets once again to enjoy a good drink and hopefully get some answers for these looming questions.

This particular weekend was a scorcher, and I was ready to get out there early and cool off with a cocktail. At the same time, I knew I was looking for something a little different. Something familiar to get me started and then something unique to satisfy my curiosity. I started with one of my favorite hangs – #1 Fifth Ave. I met up with the boys and girls, and right away I felt like I was at home.

As the night unfolded, I met many interesting types, ranging from gay to straight and bi to curious at heart. All good people, but I couldn’t help but mix things up a little by asking the group some of the questions I’d been pondering. I commenced with the interrogation.

My first victim, Jill, is from San Diego and is young, beautiful and straight. I decided that she would be the perfect candidate. When I asked Jill why she would come to a gay bar as opposed to a straight bar, her answer was quite simple.

“I love both the gay and the straight scene” Jill said. “If I am going out alone, I feel more comfortable in a gay setting because I can be myself. Nobody assumes that I am there to hook up, and I have the freedom to be the person that I want to be without somebody there to judge me.”

To me this makes sense. I mean, imagine how it must be for a gorgeous girl to go into a bar filled with drunken horny men trying to get some action every time they turn around (how horrible, right?).

But what about the straight boys? What is their motivation for getting down with the gay boys on a random Friday night?

When I asked Adam, 29, straight and married, his answer was a bit bold, but I respected the fact it was truly an honest answer!

“Call me egotistical,” Adam said, “but I go to the gay bars for one reason… attention! I am comfortable with who I am and I have many friends that are gay. But when it comes right down to it, I take care of myself, work out, and I like to be acknowledged for all of my hard work. The guys and girls in gay clubs pay attention to me. I like that!”

After I had filled up on a couple of drinks, I was ready to hit up the fun little straight dive down the road.

On my final stop, I popped into Nu Nu’s, a great little bar where all the beer is in a bottle and ice cold! Not only was it busy at 1:00 a.m. on a weeknight, but it was a happening crowd! I mixed and mingled a bit and then posed the same questions to a few of the locals. This time, admitting that I was a gay man to the crowd I was chatting with, I asked them if they thought it was strange that I was there, or if it made them at all uncomfortable. The answers were all unanimous. They were not only comfortable with me being there but didn’t find it strange at all. Greg, a young writer living in San Diego, told the Barfly: “I don’t think it’s strange that homosexuals come here. It’s OK with me. I am comfortable with the person I am and don’t mind going to the gay bars every once in a while either. For me, the gay scene is just not where I want to be, but it’s not personal. It’s just not my preference.”

As the night wrapped up, I left in good spirits, having made new friends and adding a new bar under my belt.

Many questions regarding the diversity and comfort levels of gay and straight folk still need answering, but when it comes right down to it, the real question is this: Do you feel confident enough in your own skin to be yourself in any environment? Me, personally, I don’t want to fit in. I want to stand out from the rest. And wherever I am, you can bet your sweet little ass that I’m there to be loud and proud. See you out there.

Looking for something swanky and exciting? Check out Stingaree downtown on Sixth and Island. Great food and drink, but be ready to dress the part and throw down some green! Not for the meek but definitely worth checking out!

Just a quick word to remind everyone that San Diego Pride is almost here. This year will be one of the best, from great drink specials at the bars to amazing stage shows boasting top talent. Get off your ass, start working on that tan and get ready for one of the craziest times of the year! Happy Pride, boys and girls.