Just in from news correspondent Buster:

Have you seen these cows stampeding your local watering holes? This is the Cash Cow Corps, a project started by boy harold, San Diego Leatherboy 2006.

In early June, boy harold had a re-VEAL-ation! It was time to celebrate the age-old bond between cow and human. Time to turn cow tipping from mere tomfoolery into something more noble – and lo and behold, the Cash Cow Corps was born!

Volunteer members of the San Diego leather community (including Daddy Don, U.S. Daddy 2006; boy joe, U.S. boy 2006; Buster, Mr. San Diego Leather 2006; and the founder, boy harold), dressed as cows and using tongue-in-cheek bovine humor, have been approaching humans with a request to be “tipped.” No injuries have been reported in these encounters, but the humans involved have reported voluntarily surrendering cash to the Cows for charitable purposes and “experiencing a sense of self-satisfaction at doing so.” Reports from the field describe the Cows as vaguely Holstein in appearance with a propensity to frequent areas densely populated by humans.

According to spokescow Angus Stroganoff: “The Cash Cows will be touring popular watering holes and soliciting funds for charitable organizations. During their first Stampede on July 1 of this year, the Cash Cow Corps collected more than $300 for the Hillcrest Storefront Shelter, which is one of the only shelters for homeless youth ages 12-17 in San Diego County. The Cows were also seen at The Hole on July 8 performing at the Ninth Annual Butch Review and at Flicks on July 15 supporting U.S. Daddy 2006 Don Cherkis as a candidate for emperor of the Imperial Court de San Diego. They are also appearing at the Imperial Court Coronation on Aug. 5 at The Center.

The Cash Cows have begun their human outreach with a small, dedicated group, but are looking for other men and women from all walks of life to don the hide and “milk ’em dry!” If you are interested in joining the ranks of the Cash Cow Corps, visit http://cashcowcorps.org or contact boy harold at sdleatherboy2006@cox.net.

Those who weren’t shelling out moo-la to cows were probably attending one of the many pool party/fund-raisers happening the past month in way-too-sunny San Diego. While I was bitching and moaning about the heat here, party goers were putting on the dreaded flip-flops and Hawaiian shirts, and dashing over to Costco for that jumbo-sized laundry detergent. It’s gratifying to see residents in America’s Finest City open their homes and hearts for those in need.

Everyone’s been raving about the “to-do” at Jim and Jeff’s that benefited PAWS (People Are Wonderful Support). Nothing’s sexier than big, lovable guys with a soft spot for animals. One look into their (Jim and Jeff’s) little pooch’s eyes and you’ll give them (Jim and Jeff) anything they want.

It was quite gratifying to shop for laundry detergent as requested by Rich and Rudy to attend their pool party, but carrying it in the 100-degree blistering heat was just about more than anyone could handle. I got through it, and waiting at the bottom of the driveway was a house full of hot men eating, drinking, swimming, hot-tubbing and having a festive hot time. It was well worth the hours of scouring the shelves of Costco to find the cleaner with that special something. All the detergent was donated to Auntie Helen’s, which provides laundry services to those who unfortunately cannot do it themselves. Congrats are also in order to Rudy, who is now a registered real estate agent.

Private message to Paul D., Brandon and the luau gang: What happened to hula-hoop guy? Sob… sob… whine, etc. Even though “hula-hoop guy” wasn’t there, the luau was just as much fun and was a benefit for Homestart. Talk about good food. I don’t know what they put into that chicken (real, not young twinkie boys), but we couldn’t swallow it fast enough. I even felt a bit special when Paul brought me a plate of watermelon. Leave it to Paul to make a black man feel all warm and fuzzy. Just like the other parties, this one had more hot men than you could sling a dick at. Hmm, can you say “dick” in print these days? Ah, isn’t it great to give to a good cause and sling your sssstick at hot men? By the way, ask Paul and Brandon about their first IML experience. Don’t hate them, just go next year!

Oh, speaking of slings and dicks… nevermind, they won’t print it anyway. Just keep it In The Pit.

That’s it for this week. Evil, vicious e-mails from those who have no social skills and are never invited out can be sent to inthepit@aol.com.

See ya in the darkhouse…