Dear Puddles:

I am relatively new to gay sex. I want to experiment sexually, but I am scared to death of catching an STD. I use condoms, but you can still catch something even if you use condoms religiously, right? I’m one of these people that freaks out days after sex thinking that the slightest itch means syphilis or a bit of irritation must be a herpes breakout. Of course, I go to the clinic and nothing is wrong with me – well, except in the head, maybe.

Should I be so paranoid? Does everyone go through this?

Sincerely,

Scared to scratch

Dear Scared,

You’re gonna get crabs. I am sorry, but every gay man I know has had crabs at least once in their life – so deal with it. Let’s just say it’s our way of welcoming you to the world of gay sex. It’s really not the end of the world. Simply shave your entire body, use the cream (rinse and repeat), wash all you’re bedding and clothes, and get back to living life – ain’t no thang.

Other STDs, however, you need to watch out for. First off, let me say that I am glad to hear you use condoms religiously. That knocks out a majority of the risk. That said, you are correct in believing that sex – even with the use of condoms – puts you at risk for a number of STDs. Any skin-on-skin contact, fluid exchange or sharing of sex toys should be considered carefully.

Let’s be realistic, though. Most guys won’t suck or get sucked with a condom. If that’s you, limit risk by not letting him cum in your mouth. This is also a perfect opportunity to inspect his pubic area (for real).

If you like to play with ass (and who doesn’t?), remember that touching yourself (i.e. jerking yourself off) with the same fingers you used to perform a prostate exam could potentially transfer things like HPV (that’s anal warts, kids).

Sex is hot and exciting, but if you actually think about what you’re doing, well, you may rethink some of those sex acts. Take eating butt, for example. Just the bacteria-load count alone may make you think twice.

But I’m not here to scare you. I want you to enjoy sex and do it safely.

STDs are a reality. Most are pesky and annoying, but not life or death. The likelihood is high that in your lifetime you’ll catch something. You don’t need to freak. It happens.

There are ways of avoiding STDs, however.

First, know your sex partners. Oftentimes it’s these one night stand, bookstore, bathhouse, sex club and bathroom encounters that put you most at risk. If you know who you’re having sex with, the greater chance that the person will tell you if he or she has an STD.

Second, limit risk by practicing safe sex. Don’t cut sex out of your life because you are scared of syphilis. Instead, limit sex acts to whatever you feel comfortable with.

Sit down with a medical professional and go over every single STD, sex act and risk factors involved so you can make healthy educated decisions in your sex life.