OK, I promise this will be the end of the interviews, but I was in N.Y.C. last week and ran into this guy who was a little upset that this didn’t run sooner. I’m not using his name, but he was the first runner-up at a contest and doesn’t get much attention. I was joking with him about taking the runner-up spot because, well, let’s face it: How many times does the runner-up actually get to take over the duties because the winner is unable to perform them?

It happened this year with International Leather Sir, but I think the runner-up for that contest, who is black, threatened to kick the winner’s ass so he gave up the title. Now we have another black International Leather Sir, although by default. You go, Dexter!

Speaking of kicking ass, boy ron, who is the current Knight of Leather, has been kicking some major ass around town. On April 7, at the San Diego Eagle, boy ron held a fund-raiser that brought together the leather community, the Imperial Court de San Diego, the San Diego Rodeo and the GLBT community as a whole. The event raised cash, gifts and prizes for the annual GLBT Community Children’s Easter Egg Hunt and successfully promoted the opportunity to volunteer for this heartwarming event. Thank you to the leather folk that donated their time, money and effort to create a wonderful experience for over 500 San Diego children.

Just when you thought the Brokeback fantasies were finally over, here comes a stampede of cowboys who may actually put out. Heath and Jake won’t be there, so whichever position you take, be sure there’s lots of hair pullin’, ass-slappin’ and “hee-haw” yellin’. The Greater San Diego Chapter of the Golden State Gay Rodeo Association has gone to great lengths to schedule lots of events and places to meet out-of-towners for sex. From Boots-n-Briefs on Thursday, April 27, and the pool party on Friday, April 29, to the rodeo events and dance parties on Saturday and Sunday, there’s no way not to get laid this weekend unless you have an uptight lover. For more information, check out www.sandiegorodeo.com.

Back to the interview. During a conversation on title-holding, I gave the advice to “only get advice from people who have won a contest.” That comment sparked a bit of debate, as one contestant felt you should talk to those who have lost so that you don’t make their same mistakes. He lost the contest and can now give losing advice to others.

Rocket: So, how does it feel to be a loser? Don’t you wish you had listened to me?

Runner-up: I hate you.

Rocket: Don’t you get some of the benefits and not as much work?

Runner-up: Hell no. He gets all the glory!

Rocket: Don’t you get to perform his duties when he’s not around?

Runner-up: He’s always around! I can’t get rid of him. He flies across the country, across the world, to hell and back just to torture me.

Rocket: How did you prepare for the contest?

Runner-up: I know where you’re going with this. You just want me to say that I didn’t listen to you. You want to say, “I told you so” so badly, don’t you? You make everything about you. I want it to be about me! Me! Me! I hate her!

Rocket: Don’t get mad at me because you lost!

Runner-up: I got a prize package. I didn’t really care about the prize package because I ran for the title to give back to the community. I love my community and my community loves me. Well, I’m keeping the boots, pants, hat and vest as a memento, but I’m giving away the books and those porn videos to charity to show I love my community.

Rocket: Why are you giving away the porn?

Runner-up: I know all the people in them. Did he get any porn? I thought so. I’m not special to you, either. I thought you loved me, but I’m only the first runner-up.

Rocket: You sound like a bitter old queen.

Runner-up: I’m not old! She’s older than I am.

Rocket: What does the runner up do?

Runner-up: I just look at him adoringly.

Rocket: Any advice for the new crop of titleholders?

Runner-up: Yeah, if you’re runner-up, push the bitch off the stage.

Rocket: Now can I say it? Told you so!

Runner-up: I hate you.

There’s always something happening in town, and if you have an event you want listed or want to give me presents, write to inthepit@aol.com. See ya at the rodeo…